Joy Nicholson lives in New Mexico with 
| The One Gift You Should Absolutely NOT Give Your Kids This Christmas |
| Saturday, 03 December 2011 | Joy Nicholson | Blog Entry |
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Yes, they are cute. Yes, they are small and helpless. Yes, they make a fabulous huge-eared captive, adoringly wiggling in a fuzzy Christmas stocking—if you are that sort of human. But it’s uncool. Immoral even. No one likes to talk about the actual ethics of Christmas presents—and I don’t either—but let’s just say giving a cute, wiggly, live photo-op is, well, evil. So let’s just not do it. That cutie-pie kitten or puppy or birdie—well, it shits! Yes! A lot! Not nearly as much as you do, but a lot! And your five-year-old human offspring won’t, I repeat, won’t pick up that caca! And you, a clueless, goodhearted (toward your own personal offspring anyway) parent will get mad about that unattended-to excrement. But what is a small, gifted, captive, terrified, live being with an alimentary tract supposed to do? Answer: don’t give live animals as ‘presents’ and please disdain all of your friends who do! In loud voices. Hopefully with a sharp, meaningful butcher knife waving. By the way, it’s not okay to return your kitten or puppy to a shelter six months later because your toddler-human has moved on from strangling the animal—to video games. (And you just can’t “deal” with the “mess.”) That discarded being in your SUV—on its way to doggie Auschwitz—is at least as alive and intelligent as your toddler, probably smarter—check out the science. And that dog you bought will die in that shelter. Die horribly. There is no “new, great home,” even as much as you’d like to believe there is.
You’ll clean less blood off your floor. Or your maid will. And better yet, your kid will have less bad karma to reap. And that’s a giant step forward for mankind. And mankind is your kind. Our kind. So be kind. It’s good for all. Help the Earth, Spread the Word: Share this article with family and friends by clicking on the "Email This" or "Share This" links below right. Then see TODAY'S TOP STORIES.
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No more Chihuahuas for Christmas!
Don't worry, there are plenty of alternatives to giving your offspring a living being as a gift. For one, you can get your kid a stuffed animal that he/she can mangle and discard at will. Violence is human nature in many, many gene strains—probably yours. Probably mine. Let your own personal family-strain unfold. Let your child mangle and discard cotton and polyurethane, not actual, meaningful life.
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