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I hate to be a geek brand-whore, especially ‘cuz I’m not paid by any company. (That sounds so luxurious, to be paid by a company, eh? Think of company-provided hotels and massages. Mmm!) But Kyolic Garlic is the company I buy from as far as garlic health stuff is concerned. With no discount. No love. Total capitalism. And full price. I promise if I drop dead they won’t send a wreath. Read on…

So I’ve worried about it. A lot. Planned. A lot. Fretted muchly. And now it has happened here at El Rancho de Chihuahua. An outbreak of viral—or possibly bacterial (that old thang we tend not to worry about)—origin.

It’s an actual outbreak. With many of my furry friends and compatriots down, and more almost certainly to follow. I. Just. Can’t. These are my guys! My homies. My soldiers and best friends in life. Is there a battle plan for this? I read Schwarzkopf (Blackhead? Really?). And Napoleon and Robert E. Lee (he was beloved at the time, believe me). Read on…

It is exceedingly difficult to explain to a very much beloved mother-in-law just why a person who she feels is 1) smart, 2) married to her extremely smart son and 3) such great mother-material would forgo having children and devote her life to dogs. Even worse—to old dogs. To really screwed-up dogs. And on top of that, to—not screwed-up puppies, but to—adult screwed-up dogs! Read on…

We’ve got a hairy interloper here. With quite a few teeth.

Yes, damned if we haven’t added a wayward on-his-way-to-the-gallows Shih Tzu. When we looked up his breed, the name made me laugh in a juvenile way. A ‘shit-zoo?’ ‘Cause that’s what we need here? We don’t take enough shit in our zoo already?

Bad pun. But I adore bad puns!

So, sir Shih Tzu showed up with scrungy food in his beard, a bad case of worms, and a general ugliness problem. I think it’s his haircut. But he might just be hideous. And he had a bad attitude. He bit my face, threw a few tantrums, got all in the grill of my best Buddy, and so I knew he was right for us here. A true nightmare. Read on…

We’re grateful for donations here at the Rancho de Chihuahua. It’s cold and boring for the small, short-haired guys in winter, so donations of dog sweaters and toys can be wonderful. And then again… not.

“Enjoy! It’s sooo great what you do!” said the lovely note attached to the special donation, a pink rhinestone-studded dog sweater—the rhinestones comprising the widely recognizable outline of the Playboy Bunny logo. In case a dog wants to be visually identified with collagen, large human mammary glands and hair extensions? “It” came with another special donation: a Pleather jerkin—a purple, Pleather jerkin for dogs, sans doublet—in case, what? Our pooches need to sit down to a goblet of mead, while waving a leg of lamb at a jousting match? Read on…