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It is exceedingly difficult to explain to a very much beloved mother-in-law just why a person who she feels is 1) smart, 2) married to her extremely smart son and 3) such great mother-material would forgo having children and devote her life to dogs. Even worse—to old dogs. To really screwed-up dogs. And on top of that, to—not screwed-up puppies, but to—adult screwed-up dogs! Read on…

We’ve got a hairy interloper here. With quite a few teeth.

Yes, damned if we haven’t added a wayward on-his-way-to-the-gallows Shih Tzu. When we looked up his breed, the name made me laugh in a juvenile way. A ‘shit-zoo?’ ‘Cause that’s what we need here? We don’t take enough shit in our zoo already?

Bad pun. But I adore bad puns!

So, sir Shih Tzu showed up with scrungy food in his beard, a bad case of worms, and a general ugliness problem. I think it’s his haircut. But he might just be hideous. And he had a bad attitude. He bit my face, threw a few tantrums, got all in the grill of my best Buddy, and so I knew he was right for us here. A true nightmare. Read on…

We’re grateful for donations here at the Rancho de Chihuahua. It’s cold and boring for the small, short-haired guys in winter, so donations of dog sweaters and toys can be wonderful. And then again… not.

“Enjoy! It’s sooo great what you do!” said the lovely note attached to the special donation, a pink rhinestone-studded dog sweater—the rhinestones comprising the widely recognizable outline of the Playboy Bunny logo. In case a dog wants to be visually identified with collagen, large human mammary glands and hair extensions? “It” came with another special donation: a Pleather jerkin—a purple, Pleather jerkin for dogs, sans doublet—in case, what? Our pooches need to sit down to a goblet of mead, while waving a leg of lamb at a jousting match? Read on…

“Dogs don’t need clothes, they have fur.” Uh huh? And where do you live, Bub? LA? Sydney? Florida? How nice for you!

Here at the Rancho de Chihuahua, we have frozen water that falls from the sky, and even more frozen water that comes up from the ground in the form of ‘dew’ (or shall we say ‘ice!’) five months of the year. Fur plus ice may make a fine, easily shuffled-off combo when dealing with a longhaired, say, chow-dog. It may even suffice for a hardy Shepherd breed.

But we’re talking a 10-pound, shorthaired transplant. They’re about as warm as you are on a ski trip without your fleece gear and whiskey flask. Read on…

One of my all-time favorite utterances comes from my favorite writer, Robert Stone. He is quoted as saying, “Being a realist doesn’t mean believing the worst possible outcome will happen every time.”

I love the optimism of this quote. I hang my hat on it. Admittedly, I wear hats only about twice a year on average.

But what to do when one’s dream is that every animal (human and other) will be loved, cared for, cherished and wanted all its life? Sometimes I wish I had normal dreams, like winning the lottery, having perfect teeth, being a movie star or disliking Snickers bars. At least those dreams might be possible to realize in one lifetime. Read on…